If Tomorrow Never Comes
by TheLestrangeMistress
Summary: James reflects on what could happen and how Lily may feel if he dies and she doesn't.


_**Sometimes late at night**_

_**I lie awake and watch her sleeping**_

_**She's lost in peaceful dreams**_

_**So I turn out the light**_

_**And lay there in the dark**_

James looked at the woman next to him. She was sleeping peacefully dreaming of a world where there they were free. Her fiery red hair swept over her face and although you couldn't see it, she had bright green eyes. James couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about what could happen. What if Voldemort killed him? What would Lily do then? Would she know how much he loved her?

_**And the thought crosses my mind**_

_**What if I never wake in the morning?**_

_**Would she ever doubt**_

_**They way I feel about her in my heart**_

James loved Lily so much; he had done since he first saw her on the Hogwarts express when he was 11. He'd always thought she was beautiful, but it wasn't plain sailing for them. Lily had hated James for the first 6 years, but after they became head girl and boy she had seen a difference in him. He'd lost some of his arrogance and his big head in her opinion had deflated a little although he was still playing pranks with the marauders his best friends Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. What he didn't know was that one of them was about to turn traitor. Lily had recently found out she was carrying his child. He was worried whether he would be alive when the baby was born, would he ever get to see its smile or hear its first cry?

_**If tomorrow never comes**_

_**Will she know how much I love her?**_

_**Did I try in every way**_

_**To show her everyday**_

_**She's my only one**_

_**And if my time on earth were through**_

_**She must face this world without me**_

_**Is the love I gave her in the past**_

_**Gonna be enough to last**_

_**If tomorrow never comes**_

The order of the phoenix was a resistance organisation set up by the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore. James thought he was taking a particular interest in their affairs but didn't seem to understand why. He knew he looked out for people in the order but it seemed as if he was intent on knowing their routine. He and Lily had joined the order just after they had left school; it was the right thing to do for them as Lily is a muggle born and they wanted to fight for what is right and not take the easy path. Many of the people which had originally joined had either been killed or tortured into insanity. Their missions were often dangerous and time consuming and this lead to them being separated for weeks at a time. That was the hard part James thought. One day he was kissing her goodbye, the next he was walking straight into danger, not knowing if he was going to survive. But what if someone comes in the middle of the night? What if I never hear them? What if I never see her again? He couldn't bear to think about it. He just wanted to sleep but it kept creeping into his mind, what if?

_**Cause I lost love once in my life**_

_**Who never knew how I loved them**_

_**Now I live the regret that my true**_

_**Feelings for them never were revealed**_

_**So I made a promise to myself**_

_**Say each day what it means to me**_

_**And avoid the circumstance where**_

_**There's no second chance to tell her how I feel**_

His parents had been victims of this war against Voldemort. When his faithful death eaters had attacked Diagon Alley they were trying to save many innocents as they could and take down Voldemort's followers. He never told them how much love he felt for them and regretted that he never told them more often. Now they were gone he made a promise to himself to tell Lily everyday how much he loves her and how much she and their unborn baby mean to him. He couldn't even think what would happen if he was the one who had to live without her. They had told Dumbledore that Lily would have to take a break from doing the hard work for the order because of the baby; at the same time their friend Alice and her husband Frank also announced they were having a baby and the freaky thing was they were due at the same time. James had decided that if either one of them had to live without the other it would be Lily living without him as he would die protecting her and now their child.

_**If tomorrow never comes**_

_**Will she know how much I love her?**_

_**Did I try in every way**_

_**To show her everyday**_

_**She's my only one**_

_**And if my time on earth were through**_

_**She must face this world without me**_

_**Is the love I gave her in the past**_

_**Gonna be enough to last**_

_**If tomorrow never comes**_

A few months on and James couldn't sleep again, he had finally found out the reason why Dumbledore was so interested in their routine and affairs. This was because a prophecy had been made concerning a boy child and Voldemort and he then knew his unborn son was in danger from him. But he also knew that it might not be his and there was a chance it could be Alice and Frank's unborn son. He wouldn't want to wish it upon anyone to be in this situation but he knew if Voldemort came after them then they'd die, all three of them. This wasn't exactly a comforting thought but at least none of them would have to live without the others. What he didn't realise then was that Lily would sacrifice herself for Harry which would enable him to live but parentless for the remainder of his life. In that short time James had realised again that you need to tell the ones you love just how you feel.

_**So tell that someone that you love**_

_**Just what you're thinking of**_

_**If tomorrow never comes**_


End file.
